For the last thirty or more years, the number four has always been special to me. I have always liked the way a four looks; I like writing the number four. The number four is not my lucky number, it is not an omen. It is just my number.
When I was in sixth grade, my friend and I had a crush on a boy in our class. We would write notes to each other and talk about him, but just in case anyone discovered our notes, we referred to this boy by the code name we gave him. We called him: #4.
Once when I was sixteen years old, I went to the shopping mall with some friends as I did many times at that age. The parking lot was full, and I could not find my car as we left the shopping mall. My friends wanted to check out another lot, but I knew my car was in the lot we were standing in. We looked over another aisle, and there was my car. We laughed as we ran to my car, and when I got to the driver’s side door I looked down as I reached for the door handle. On the ground lay a single playing card. It was a four of diamonds. I couldn’t believe it! I picked up the card and kept it in my secret box under my bed for safe keeping.
Several years later, I was home alone with my kids waiting for my husband to get home from work and decided to go out and get the mail. As I walked to the mailbox I felt a weight on my shoulders as we had been living with a lot of debt, and the expectation that another bill would be in the mail that day was unavoidable. As I got closer to the mailbox, I could see something laying on the ground. Walking down the black top I couldn’t tell what it was, but once I stepped onto the grassy parkway and got closer to the mailbox, I could see what was laying there. It was a single playing card; a four of clubs. Later that evening when my husband returned home, he came into the house beaming. He had gotten a raise.
Another couple of years later, after several failed attempts at salvaging our marriage, my husband and I decided to divorce. We had to pack up our two-story house and move to our new separate residences. A very emotional and trying time, to say the least. After we had packed all of the furniture into the trucks and cleared all of our belongings out of the house, I took a stroll through the rooms to say goodbye. The house was so empty, and every sound echoed. I said goodbye to my children’s rooms with a tear in my eye; I walked into the living room where I admired the stenciling I had spent so many hours painting onto the walls the year before. As I stood there in the empty house feeling the depth of that sad nostalgic moment, I noticed what appeared to be a piece of paper stuck against the wall near the floor between the base board and the wall. I walked across the room to see what it was; my footsteps made an echoing sound with each step. When I got closer, I saw what the piece of paper was. A single playing card; and this one was a four of spades.
I have concluded that I see the number four more often when energy is building. I see the number four when I am standing in a long line at the grocery store, and suddenly checkout lane number four opens up and the cashier calls me over. I see the number four on a bus driving in front of me as my phone rings and I get bad news from a friend. Be it positive or negative energy, the number four appears when the energy is flowing. And when I see a number four, I somehow feel comforted because I know everything is going to be ok.
All three playing cards are safely tucked away in my secret box. I am still missing one card to make a full suit. If you have been reading carefully, you will know which card that is, and when I find that card, there’s going to be something exciting brewing!